At Least That's What You Said

Christopher, 23, part-time college student, full time lover of music, literature, art, films, poetry, history and all creativity under the sun. Let's have a chat shall we?
glitterandnightmares:

officialunitedstates:

Many of us know Olive Garden’s slogan When You’re Here, You’re Family.  Well, I recently put that to the test.
The tables were wooden and nice to sit at.  The chairs were also comfortable.  The view wasn’t anything special, but there was a pretty cool looking van in the Walmart parking lot that had flames on its sides. 
I was immediately offered wine, and after admitting I was underage, refused wine.  If you’re going to offer me wine, please don’t rescind your offer.  It’s common courtesy.
The napkins were probably the highlight.  They were cloth and worked really well at cleaning the windows.  One waiter told me I didn’t have to do that, but I insisted.  After all, I like a good, clear view of parking lots.  Who doesn’t.
Finally, it was time to order.  I went with the pizza.  The menu said I could pick four toppings, so I chose half portions of eight toppings.  There were only seven to choose from, though, so I made one up.  “…and blorgaspork.”
"Sorry?  What is blorgaspork?"
"That’s your job to know, now isn’t it."
After a reasonable wait, my food arrived.  It was a really good meal, not exactly overpriced, but not exactly underpriced either.  It was just priced.
My waiter soon arrived and asked me if I wanted dessert. 
"Steve," I said, "Have a seat."
He did.
"I have this business idea.  And while I’m here, and we’re family, I was hoping you could give me a loan."
Steve tried to laugh it off.  Like it was some kind of joke.  I was offended and he could tell.  “Steve, this isn’t a joke.”
Steve looked a bit nervous.  I grabbed his hands and pinned them to the table.  “Are we family or not, Steve.”
"Not in the literal sense…" said Steve.  I wasn’t going to let him reason his way out of this one. 
"Look, Steve.  I cleaned your windows.  Family does that for each other.  They clean each others’ windows.  Now, don’t you think I deserve that loan?  We’re family, Steve, we’re family."
Steve handed me 13 bucks.  “Thanks, Steve.”
★★★☆☆


I work at Olive Garden also what the fuck

glitterandnightmares:

officialunitedstates:

Many of us know Olive Garden’s slogan When You’re Here, You’re Family.  Well, I recently put that to the test.

The tables were wooden and nice to sit at.  The chairs were also comfortable.  The view wasn’t anything special, but there was a pretty cool looking van in the Walmart parking lot that had flames on its sides. 

I was immediately offered wine, and after admitting I was underage, refused wine.  If you’re going to offer me wine, please don’t rescind your offer.  It’s common courtesy.

The napkins were probably the highlight.  They were cloth and worked really well at cleaning the windows.  One waiter told me I didn’t have to do that, but I insisted.  After all, I like a good, clear view of parking lots.  Who doesn’t.

Finally, it was time to order.  I went with the pizza.  The menu said I could pick four toppings, so I chose half portions of eight toppings.  There were only seven to choose from, though, so I made one up.  “…and blorgaspork.”

"Sorry?  What is blorgaspork?"

"That’s your job to know, now isn’t it."

After a reasonable wait, my food arrived.  It was a really good meal, not exactly overpriced, but not exactly underpriced either.  It was just priced.

My waiter soon arrived and asked me if I wanted dessert. 

"Steve," I said, "Have a seat."

He did.

"I have this business idea.  And while I’m here, and we’re family, I was hoping you could give me a loan."

Steve tried to laugh it off.  Like it was some kind of joke.  I was offended and he could tell.  “Steve, this isn’t a joke.”

Steve looked a bit nervous.  I grabbed his hands and pinned them to the table.  “Are we family or not, Steve.”

"Not in the literal sense…" said Steve.  I wasn’t going to let him reason his way out of this one. 

"Look, Steve.  I cleaned your windows.  Family does that for each other.  They clean each others’ windows.  Now, don’t you think I deserve that loan?  We’re family, Steve, we’re family."

Steve handed me 13 bucks.  “Thanks, Steve.”

★★★

I work at Olive Garden also what the fuck

(via playiiingwithfire)

A warm night with some people I love. Makes this room of mine a bit more fun and inviting to be in.

A warm night with some people I love. Makes this room of mine a bit more fun and inviting to be in.

wilwheaton:

policymic:

Watch: CNN compares traditional Maori greeting to Chippendales and horny emus

How long does it take for the most trusted news source to turn a boring non-story into a racist, xenophobic nightmare?

About 13 seconds it turns out, and that’s only because CNN news correspondent Jeanne Moos takes her time narrating the intro.

Read more

The only thing surprising about this is that it wasn’t split-screened with the fucking plane.

Wow, cue this as the thing that’s rendered me most pissed off at the news and their bullshit for today. Just yank CNN off the air already, and most of the others please. 

You never know what you’ll find in a world of random drawers…. #johndenver #christmasinapril #cassette #theoutdatedthingsinlife

You never know what you’ll find in a world of random drawers…. #johndenver #christmasinapril #cassette #theoutdatedthingsinlife

saddeer:

zkac:

what’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination?

HAAAAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEE

i hate this i hate u 

(via jesuisuneetoile)